You Miss Him
by seeyouontheice
Summary: picks up where the episode 'all at sea' ended


_"Well we had meaningless sex so I guess it's allowed …" for a moment – just a moment – she thought he was going to protest her use of the word 'meaningless' but his mouth closed as he thought better of it and she hurried on, "Let's never talk about Elliot's sex life again."_

_"Oh agreed."_

Glancing up from her bike just as she was about to put her helmet on, Jac spotted Sacha sitting at the picnic bench and Michael making a beeline for him. Hurriedly abandoning her helmet on the seat, Jac grabbed her bag and made her way to intercept the American before he reached her friend and did something foolish. Michael wasn't fooled – he knew that Jac had only come over to him to stop him from reaching Sacha. "Get out of my way Naylor."

"No."

"Look I don't wanna have to make you move."

"Leave him alone Michael."

"He hit me!"

Jac rolled her eyes, "Yeah because he thought you and Chrissie were going at it behind his back. You'd have done _exactly_ the same thing in his position."

Michael threw her a glare, "stay out of this!"

"No – Sacha's my friend Michael. His daughter's just had cancer, his wife ran away to Australia with his son, who has a hole in his heart and now that they're separated he finds out that Chrissie also has cancer now."

Jac watched as Michael seemed to glare at Sacha over her shoulder, "Why are you making excuses for him?" the hot-headed American demanded.

"Because, if I'd let him, he'd of made them for me," at the confused look across Michael's face Jac felt she had to explain. "After what happened with me and Jonny … he wanted to try to explain it all to him and make excuses I didn't deserve."

For a second Jac thought he was going to turn around and walk away, but evidently Sacha's punch had hurt his pride and ego more than she'd anticipated. "Let me pass Jac."

"Just let it go!"

"He hit me!"

"I know. I was there – I was actually rather impressed in all honesty."

It was unfortunate that Michael chose that moment to shove past her; in his anger he'd seemingly forgotten that she was pregnant and he also didn't notice that they'd drawn a small crowd around them – what had happened at Albie's had evidently already spread. One moment Jac was barring his path and the next she had landed rather uncomfortably on the hard ground.

She didn't have time to register what had happened though, because Sacha was once again at Michael's throat. "Sacha!" as she had in the pub, Jac sprang to her feet and grabbed his arm in order to pull him back out of harm's way. As much as it pained her to admit it, Sacha was no match for Michael. "Sacha leave it! It's not worth it!" Sacha was close to fuming – and Jac could only imagine the whirl of emotions running through his mind at the end of this long and difficult day. Michael was being restrained by Harry and Gemma and Jac just wanted him to turn round and go home, "Please," Jac added speaking to them both, "can't you just let it go?"

After a long moment Michael pulled himself out of Harry's grasp and stalked off to his car as if _he'd_ been the one who'd thought his wife was seeing someone else. The car door slammed as the engine kicked in and a moment later Michael Spence drove out of the car park. Tugging at Sacha's arm, Jac attempted to pull him towards the picnic bench as the small crowd dispersed. However Sacha didn't move. "You didn't have to do that," he said turning to her.

Jac looked at the ground, "You would've done the same for me if I had let you. I just … didn't deserve you help."

"And I do? Jac – I … I hit him!"

"Only because you thought he was seeing your wife behind your back – honestly I thought he was too. Sacha … they didn't exactly act as if they didn't have anything to hide did they?"

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I s'pose you're right … what would I do without you Jac?"

"You'd wither and crumble and fester without me," Jac told him getting a smile out of her friend at last, "seriously though, how _did_ you manage without me?"

Sacha shook his head, "I haven't a clue … but I could say the same to you though – how did you survive without _me_?"

Jac bit her lip, "I survived because it's all I know how to do."

Sacha didn't press her for an explanation because he didn't need one – he'd never needed one from her. Pulling her into his arms for a hug, he refused to let her go for some time. "C'mon then – let's get you checked over."

"What?"

"He pushed you and you fell … need to make sure Michael hasn't cause any harm to the Tiny Naylor now do we?"

"What – no Sacha I'm fine!"

But Sacha gave her no choice. With one arm clamped firmly round her shoulders, he steered her back into the hospital and towards the lifts. Jac did her best to escape but she knew that he was right in what he'd said. Sacha hit the button for the AAU and less than three minutes later Jac found her friend literally dragging her onto the ward.

"Oh c'mon Levy – this is ridiculous. I'm _fine_!"

But he seemed to have suddenly developed selective hearing because he was quite happily chatting away to Ric and Serena but unable to hear her state how unnecessary this all was. "Right that's it … I'm off."

A hand closed round her arm as Serena and Sacha held her back, "It's just an ultrasound Jac," Sacha told her, "just one little ultrasound … besides, Jonny would like, kill me if he found out I let you walk off without getting checked over." Annoyingly he was true and so Jac had no choice but to agree with her friend. "Right – I'll just grab the machine and …"

"Um, no you won't," Serena told him sternly. "You're off duty and aren't insured to work right now since your shift has ended. You _can't_ treat her."

"He's not treating me!"

"Technically he is … Ric or I will do the scan when we've got a minute okay?"

Jac and Sacha exchanged a look and she knew there was no getting out of it now, "Why don't you two wait in the side room?" Ric suggested as Serena was called over to her patient, "We'll be over as soon as we can."

Muttering darkly Jac let Sacha steer her into the side room and off the busy ward. Resigning herself to waiting, Jac sat down on the bed and made her irritation quite plain to the man sitting comfortably in the chair at her bedside and getting increasingly pissed off at the smirk on his face. For whatever reason, Jac complaining and getting worked up over something had always amused him … it often made her wonder why she even counted him as a friend at times.

When the door opened it was Serena who slipped into the room to ask Jac that if she wanted this 'check-up' off record then she'd have to agree to it being _on_ record if anything was at all abnormal about the scan. Sacha immediately agreed for her leaving Jac wondering why she even had a voice box in the first place. "It's my body!" she pointed out to them getting and knowing smile off the GS consultant.

"Stop biting everyone's heads off Jac," Sacha chuckled, "and I'd suggest you take your jacket off otherwise we'll be here even longer – much to your distaste."

Doing as he suggested, Jac stood up and pulled of her jacket, suddenly conscious of the fact that she was now finding it rather hard to hide the bump. Aware that Sacha was watching her, Jac dug her keys out of the pocket before she lost them and put them on the table next to her bag and her jacket for safe keeping. The redhead then settled back against the raised back of the bed and waited somewhat impatiently for Serena to return with the machine.

However it seemed that AAU was rather busy that evening – that or Serena decided to be deliberately slow in fetching the portable ultrasound. Jac wouldn't put it past the woman to do such a thing to her. Next to her, Sacha was oddly quiet in comparison to how he usually was. Jac wondered if Chrissie's announcement of having cancer had anything to do with it … that or the fact his daughter wasn't returning any of his calls although Jac put that down to the whole teenage thing rather than her being peed off at her dad.

They waited what seemed like hours before the door opened once again as Ric backed into the room with the ultrasound machine while telling Mary-Claire to take his other patient up for a CT scan. Plugging the machine in, Ric Griffin turned to Jac and Sacha. "So – what exactly happened?" he asked.

"I um –"

"Michael pushed her over." Sacha interrupted loudly, drowning Jac out.

"Only because I stopped him from laying into you for punching him on the nose," Jac muttered sulkily knowing full well that Sacha wasn't going to let her be all blasé about this.

"Well then … did you land on your stomach?" Jac shook her head, "right then – well let's just see that everything's okay then shall we?" he indicated to Jac to pull her top up and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she did so, tucking the bit of paper towel into the waistband of her trousers while Ric faffed about switching the machine on and grabbing the gel. "This'll be –"

"Cold … yes I – _Jesus that freezing_!" Jac flinched away from the gel as both men chuckled at her reaction. "I swear it gets colder every time!" she insisted knowing that if Jonny had been there he'd have been in a laughing fit on the floor by then.

"It's just you Jac … now then …" Ric fell silent as he studied the monitor whilst moving the probe over her small, 18-week sized bump. A glance at Sacha informed Jac that he too was transfixed upon what was happening onscreen. The door opened and Serena waltzed in to join them. Ric and Sacha both turned to greet her but Jac's gaze had stopped upon the monitor beside her. It was a few moments before she realised that the blotchy, squirming … _thing_ … she was watching was in fact now recognisable as a baby. Not just any baby – _her baby._

"Jac – you've got yourself a wriggler there!" Serena smiled.

"Blame Jonny," Jac found herself saying.

"That I don't doubt … the ward's empty – why don't we see if we can listen for a heartbeat?" Jac blinked at the other woman's suggestion and found she had nodded when Ric asked if she wanted that. There were a few seconds silence and then the side room was full of the echoing sound of the baby's tiny heartbeat. "Do you know what it is yet?"

Jac shook her head, still watching the screen.

"We could see if we can find out if you want," Sacha offered.

"But …"

"But what Jac?" came her friend's reply.

She shook her head, "It just … doesn't seem right without Jonny here," she admitted in a quiet voice that didn't really belong to her. "He – he should be here and …" luckily Jac missed the look that Serena, Ric and Sacha shared otherwise she might've flipped at them. It was the knowing kind of look that instantly infuriated her.

Ric hit a button on the machine and two squares of photographic card printed out with the blotchy picture of the unborn baby currently residing inside Jac's womb. Handing her one of them, he said that he was going to put the other in her file – for medical reasons – so that there was an up-to-date one there.

While Jac was busy wiping the gel off, she missed Serena pick up her bike keys and hand them to Ric as he left the room to head up to Darwin where Jac's file was kept. Unknown to Jac, Elliot had asked several people, including Mo, Ric, Serena, Hanssen, Sacha and Jonny – obviously – to basically confiscate Jac's bike keys if they got the chance … he'd never really trusted her on it after her crash all those years ago and had been waiting for an excuse to ban her from riding it ever since.

It was only when she had pulled on her jacket and picked up her bag that she noticed them missing, of course Jac being Jac she didn't ask where they were and instead began searching her bag for them, despite the fact she knew she'd put them on the table. "Lost something Jac?" Serena asked innocently while Sacha struggled not to laugh.

"Yeah … where are my keys?"

"What keys?"

"My bike keys," Jac looked the GS consultant in the eye.

"Oh those … they've been confiscated."

Jac blinked, "Come again?"

"You heard … now off with you – I have a ward to maintain and I can't do that standing here chatting about babies … although yours is going to be a dear I am sure. Have you felt it kick yet?" Jac opened her mouth to respond but wasn't given the chance as Serena's pager went off, "right I'm needed – you two bugger off home you lucky sods. See you tomorrow bright and early!"

Literally ushering the pair off AAU Serena spun on her heel and went to the aid of her patient as Sacha led Jac back towards the main entrance. He abandoned her once they got out of the lift in favour of the canteen so Jac exited alone and wondered over to her bike – which was still locked – and glad that she kept the keys to her flat on a separate keychain. Lifting off her helmet (she half wondered why it hadn't been stolen) Jac sat down on a picnic bench and let out a sigh.

Pulling out the photo from her jacket pocket, Jac stared at it for a long while not really believing that this was actually happening. It wasn't until she had the phone pressed against her ear waiting to hear the line engage that she realised she had called him. She was still staring at the photo oblivious to whatever was going on around her. And then it hit her; it _was_ happening … she was having a baby – no, not just any baby … _Jonny's _baby.

"I thought we agreed we _weren't_ going to talk about Elliot's sex life anymore."

"Damn … I'll just hang up then shall I?"

"Unless there's some other reason you called me."

Jac bit her lip and then for the first time in a long time, she just spoke truthfully to him; she didn't think carefully about what she said – she just said it. "Do I need a reason to call you?"

"Ah … it's me sexy Scottish tones aint it? You can't get enough of them can ya?"

"Yes, yeah that's it Jonny. That's exactly it." Jac didn't need to see his face to know that he was smiling just as much as she was.

"I knew it!"

Jac laughed lightly down her phone at him, her gaze still on the scan she held in her hand. "Look – um don't get angry or anything but erm … I kinda got –"

"Pushed over by Michael Spence five minutes after I left." Jonny finished.

"How – how did you know about that?"

"Mo," was his reply and Jac should've seen it coming. "She also said Sacha forced you to go get checked over – which is why I haven't texted or tried to ring ya – I knew he'd make sure you was okay … you are okay right?"

"Fine Jonny – everything is just fine."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Good …" there was a pause while they both searched for something more to say. "Why did ya ring me?"

Jac chewed the inside of her cheek as she spoke, "It just … didn't feel right – you not being there. Ric did the scan and Sacha was with me and everything but it just … the – the – our baby … well put it this way I'm kinda wondering why I haven't felt it using my internal organs as punch bags and … well …"

"Well what? Jac?"

"I heard the heartbeat and I … I wanted you there with me," she trialled off suddenly uncertain.

The silence between them this time was much longer and Jac almost wondered if he'd just simply hung up on her. She considered taking her phone away from her ear to check when she heard Jonny speak again. "I will be next time … for the scan in a fortnight – I can wait two weeks … oh shit, sorry Jac – I've gotta go … the gym wanna close and I don't much fancy spending the wee night in here."

"I'll see you tomorrow," Jac said quickly.

"Sure will," and with that he was gone. Shoving her phone in her bag, Jac placed the scan photo inside her purse for safe keeping and then figured she had to work out how she was getting home tonight (and how she was going to get to and from every day afterwards since she had no MOT on her car) when Malick walked past whistling merrily, clearly on his way home.

"Why you sitting here when you're bike is over there?"

"Because Elliot has seen fit to confiscate my keys," Jac told him wearily.

"Ah … well do you wanna lift home?"

Jac considered it and nodded, "Please," she followed him to his car, grabbing her helmet and her bag as she got up and shoved the items on the backseat before slipping into the front passenger seat as Malick started the engine. It was only when they were almost at her block of flats that Jac changed her mind, "No wait – can you take me to Jonny's?"

"Oy oi, something you're not telling us Naylor?"

"About what?"

"You and Maconie."

"What about us?" Malick gave her a look and she gave in, "I just …" she shook her head and shrugged.

"You miss him," the registrar stated.

"I … yeah, yeah I do."

"Well then, I'd best drop you off there so you can tell him then hadn't I?" with that the reckless surgeon did a U-turn and headed off towards the district of Holby Jonny had taken up residence in – the cheap flats by the docks. "Besides, this way I'm all set to win."

"Win what?"

"Oh nothing – we have a betting pool to see how long before you two got back together again. And some are also betting on how long it'll take him to drag you down the aisle."

"Cretins," Jac muttered before thanking him as he pulled up outside Jonny's block of flats. She grabbed her stuff and rolled her eyes as he winked cheekily at her before speeding off to where ever it was he lived. Thankfully the security guard on duty recognised her and so let her in when she failed to key in the correct code for the door. Nodding in thanks, Jac started the climb up to the fifth floor, cursing the fact that the lift was always broken in this building.

Stopping outside Jonny's door Jac suddenly felt a wave of nerves wash over her as she knocked – the feeling reminded her of how she'd come to him that night and begged him to look after her; the night they'd created the life inside her … the night Tara died. The door opened to reveal Jonny standing there in a ratty t-shirt and a pair of cut-off shorts – the type made from a cheap pair of tracksuit bottoms. Evidently he'd just got back from the gym.

"Jac … what'd you want?" she knew his mind was also going back to the last time she'd appeared outside this door.

She shrugged, "I … I dunno I just – I … I just …" the words that were coming didn't seem enough but in the end she decided that it was better than saying nothing, "I miss you."

Her gaze fixed upon the door handle, Jac waited for him to speak – to question her statement and make her explain and all the while knowing she couldn't. "I … I miss you too," he said softly. Jac glanced up at him and met his gaze. In that instant nothing more needed saying because they just knew what the other felt … in the end all they'd needed was that simple exchange of words to realise how stupid they'd been and how much they … belonged together.

Jonny reached forwards and touched her cheek before then leaning in as Jac's eyes drifted shut. Just as their conversation had been, the kiss was simple and short and to the point and was all that was needed. Any more would be, well … over complicating everything. "That went better than I'd expected," Jac told him as he pulled back.

"And what were you expecting? A door getting slammed in your face?"

"That or you saying you had someone here and that I ought to fuck off," Jac shrugged. Jonny shifted uncomfortably, "What? You _do_ have someone here?" she asked outraged.

"Me granny and me sister," he said quickly before she got the chance to yell or storm off. "I – well they came down to see me and … I was gonna – um …"

"You haven't told them yet have you?"

"Now you're here you can help me," he told her slyly, pulling her into his flat before she got the chance to escape.

"No – oh no … they're –" she lowered her voice, "they're _your_ relatives – your family – not mine … if I had a family I wouldn't make you tell them!"

"You wouldn't be able to tell them," Jonny muttered as he hung her jacket up and placed he helmet next to the pile of shoes before changing his mind and hiding it in the cupboard. "They wouldn't approve," he explained. "And as I was sayin' – you wouldn't be able to get the words out!"

"If you are referring to the incident on the ward then I was merely … unprepared." Jonny laughed lightly before pressing her up against the wall. Jac had missed this – well him – the simplicity of it all and how … easy it all was with him. She didn't have to think or to lie or to hide the truth when it came to Jonny. She loved him.

A call from his living room interrupted them, "_Jonathan_! Either invite the wee laddie in or tell 'em to bugger off!"

"Or lass," a second voice added, "it could be a wee lass, granny."

Jonny groaned as Jac shook her head already of the opinion that Jonny's relatives would either be sticklers for everything being right and proper or act like that for the hell of it because they despised people like that. "Go and tell them – I need to pee oaky? _Your_ child seems to think my bladder is a football."

Jonny let her go – not without a peck on the cheek first – and then made his way into his living room to tell his family that he was going to be a dad in little over four months' time. Emerging from the bathroom, Jac detoured to Jonny's kitchen in search of his biscuit collection and failing that, his chocolate collection. Making a sizable dent in both tins Jac then flicked on the kettle for a cup of tea and wondering what else there was she could eat. She had just finished making her tea when she felt arms wrap around her waist and a chin rest on her shoulder. "You been nicking all me chocolate?" he accused.

"Biscuits as well," she smiled feeding him one. "You told them yet?"

"Yah huh … they wanna meet ya."

It was Jac's turn to groan, even though she'd known this was coming. "Do I have to?"

"I am afraid so … c'mon finish ya biscuits and I'll bring ya tea," he kissed her neck and then picked up her, as yet untouched, tea and headed back into his living room leaving Jac no choice but to follow. She did however grab the ultrasound picture out of her bag along with her phone before wondering how she was going to deflect the questions about _her_ family.

However, it turned out that Jonny's sister and granny – Fiona being his sister and Maggie being his granny – weren't at all your average judgemental family relatives. Whether this went for the rest of his family or not was another matter. But Jac decided she could – eventually – like them (she wasn't nearly ready enough to say she like them there and then) and she did admit that she was glad her baby would have nice relatives. "Ah to think, m'wee rascal Jimmy –"

"Jonny."

"That's what I said!" apparently there was a long standing joke about Maggie getting Jonny and his cousin Jimmy mixed up. Jac suspected the old woman did it on purpose and knew exactly which of her grandsons she was speaking about or with. "To think the rascal Jonny is gonna be a father ... it seems only yesterday you was forever falling outta that tree and crying because your sister wouldn't let you play with her …"

Jonny cleared his throat, "Yeah – um … well I …"

But both Maggie and Fiona seemed to relish in reeling off embarrassing stories about Jonny – and Jac, who was sitting with her feet up on the sofa in Jonny's arms, had no problem with that. Eventually, as it was going to do, the conversation turned to Jac … and she did feel Jonny tense up slightly as his sister asked Jac about her job – everyone knew that the 'job' conversation quickly gave way to the question 'so what do your parents think of you doing that then? I'll bet they're proud.' But Jac felt she knew these people well enough to tell them the truth – even if it was not all of the truth.

"I don't have a family – or none who would want to speak to me or me to them."

"Why's that?" Fiona asked while Maggie stared at Jac.

Jac shrugged and looked at the floor, "they just never wanted me in the first place." If Fiona had gone to ask another question Jac didn't see because Maggie and Jonny both shot her a look that told her to drop it.

"When are ya due then?"

"January," Jonny smiled proudly before directing his sister to the bathroom and asking who wanted tea.

"I'll have a coffee Jonny," Fiona told him as her brother got to his feet.

"So you'll be cleaning up Jac's puke then, okay fine by me."

"Huh?"

"I don't like the smell of coffee anymore," Jac explained. Jonny inclined his head as his sister changed her order to tea and the siblings left the living room bickering over whatever it was sibling bickered over.

Maggie was watching Jac intently, and had been since the short-lived conversation about her family had come up. "Don't mind Fiona dear," she said abruptly, "she's just a nosey cow at times … you should see her and Jonny's friend when their together … it's a nightmare."

"I can imagine," Jac said, "Mo's bad enough at work when a patient's relatives start kicking off … she immediately has to get involved."

"Can't keep a secret," Maggie agreed.

Jac found herself sticking up for Mo – she got the impression that Maggie didn't much approve of her for whatever reason. "She was the first to know I was pregnant … and managed to keep it from Jonny until he found out by himself."

At quarter to eight Jonny finally managed to usher his granny and his sister out of the door with directions to his other sister's place in the small town twenty minutes away. There was a definite sense of relief when Jonny shut the door and leant against it. "They were waiting outside the building when I got back from the gym," he muttered, "they wouldn't even let me have a shower!"

"Stop moaning and come here," Jac commanded him, not really listening to what he'd been saying. She took his hand and placed it over the bump and looked up into his eyes. For a moment there was nothing but confusion until he registered what it was he was experiencing.

"We … we're having a baby Jac."

"I know."

"A wee baby!"

"A family," she corrected in a whisper.

"Aye, a family – you, me and our baby."


End file.
